Excuse any spelling errors and inkorrect grammar. We’re a little hungover from last night’s MTV Video Music Awards. No, we didn’t get to party hardy with the shiny famous people (our invite must have been lost in the mail). But we did have a kickass viewing with our best gal pals that included a lot of libations and hummus. (We ate a lot of hummus!) Why so hungover? We had to take a sip of the sassy sauce every time Nicki Minaj made us say, “OMG!” So, we basically drank all night!
Here are our favorite highlights (what we can remember) from last night’s show:
- Katy Perry + Riff Raff did their best impersonation of Britney + Justin’s all-denim-errthang 2001 VMA ensembles
- Nicki Minaj’s booty (surprisingly enough) did not knock out anyone standing in the front row
- Nicki Minaj’s wardrobe malfunction made every boy, man, and curious woman pray harder than they’ve ever prayed for her hands to fall off
- Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels! Dumb and Dumber…2! Thank you for making November 2014 an even more special time (but this still doesn’t trump turkey enchiladas!).
- Did Kim Kardashian dump sidekicks Khloe and Kourtney for Kendall and Kylie? Yup!
- Miley Cyrus made us cry (in a good way) when she sent young homeless hottie, Jesse, on stage to accept her award for “Video of the Year”…where he schooled us on the young homeless epidemic that’s affecting places like Los Angeles. Good for you, Miley. And can we get Jesse an agent?
- Beyonce shut it down. No, let us rephrase. Beyonce flipped it around (her hair), flaunted it (her booty), flailed it around (her body), and then shut it the fuck down…during her 16-minute performance before receiving the Video Vanguard award. (She beat Justin Timberlake by one minute for longest VMA performance ever.)